» cakes and pie
posted on 04/16/08 by Opie
H-O-L-Y S-H-I-T... She's fine as hell.
(Classic, since it's the season)
The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney.
The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable."
"I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it," says Ralph. "How about a demonstration?"
The auditor thinks for a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Ralph says, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thinks a moment and says, "No way! It's a bet." Ralph removes his glass eye and bites it.
The auditor's jaw drops. Ralph says, "Now, I' ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye." The auditor can tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
"Want to go double or nothing?" Ralph asks. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy can manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can't make the stream reach the wastebasket on other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
"Are you okay?" the auditor asks.
"Not really," says the attorney. "This morning, when Ralph told me he'd been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over an IRS officials desk and that you'd be happy about it."
- FFL -
[ SFW ] - Hot babe.
[NSFW] - Casual sex.
[NSFW] - Big boobies.
[ SFW ] - UFO hunters.
[ SFW ] - Dancing kitties.
[NSFW] - Nice work-out.
[NSFW] - Deep throat city.
[NSFW] - I like sexy MILFs.
[ SFW ] - I like her costume.
[ SFW ] - Sexual harassment.
[ SFW ] - Don't trust women!
[ SFW ] - Chuck Norris shirts.
[ SFW ] - Jenny Frost is sexy.
[ SFW ] - Duck with four legs.
[NSFW] - Girls wanting to fuck.
[NSFW] - I found a fuck buddy.
[NSFW] - A bunch of porn clips.
[ SFW ] - Dancing via WEBCAM.
[ SFW ] - Eliot Spitzer's callgirl.
[ SFW ] - Let's Hug It Out Bitch.
[ SFW ] - What Britney will look like.
[ SFW ] - French troops attack Pirates!
[NSFW] - Two MILFs are better than one.
» lawl or law
posted on 04/14/08 by Opie
Some great mascot bloopers.
WAY better than the original.
Myspace raped in da butt?
Hanna Montana just became awesome.
He scared his mother.
Good half-time show.
A woman takes her young daughter to the zoo. They walk up to the monkeys and the little girl notices two of them mating. The little girl curiously asks her mom what they're doing. The mom hesitantly says, "um, well, they're baking cake."
"Oh, ok." the little girl says.
They later walk over to where the lions are. The little girl notices one of the lions on top of another, and again she asks her mom what they're doing. The mom says more confidently this time, "well, they're baking a cake too sweety."
The next morning the little girl wakes up and walks out to the kitchen where her mom is cooking breakfast. The little girl asks, "Mommy, were you and daddy baking a cake on the couch last night?"
Extremely embarrassed and nervous, the mom replies, "uh, yeah sweety. we were."
The little girls says, "I know, cause I licked up some of the left over frosting."
In case you haven't seen this.
What are they doing.. BESIDES BEING HOT!!11
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Fuck'em.
[NSFW] - Local sex.
[ SFW ] - Shopped?
[ SFW ] - Side boob.
[ SFW ] - Nice body.
[NSFW] - I like big tits.
[NSFW] - Big BOOBIES!
[ SFW ] - Ten buck tees.
[ SFW ] - Story of Adidas.
[ SFW ] - This is retarded.
[ SFW ] - Jailbait? Uh oh.
[ SFW ] - Teen Cuteness.
[NSFW] - Free XXX Dating.
[ SFW ] - Heidi Klum naked.
[ SFW ] - What the fuck..?
[ SFW ] - Cleveland Steamer
[NSFW] - Choking during sex.
[ SFW ] - Monkeys can punch.
[ SFW ] - I think he's retarded.
[NSFW] - Fucked on the beach.
[ SFW ] - Real names of rappers.
[ SFW ] - Fuck catfish noodling.
[ SFW ] - Some very nice thongs.
[ SFW ] - Avril Lavigne in a bikini.
[NSFW] - 3 teens having some fun.
[ SFW ] - I need to see this movie.
[ SFW ] - Why you don't hit women.
[ SFW ] - Since when are retards "miracles"?
[ SFW ] - Penis camo drawings are funny as hell.
[ SFW ] - THIS IS THE BEST GAME EVER... hahaha
[ SFW ] - If you have time, play this fucking game.
[ SFW ] - She's fat, crazy, and ugly... Was still hoping for a tittie.
posted on 04/11/08 by Opie
Q and A
Q: What magic wand makes a nigga disappear?
A: A pregnancy test.
Don't mess with the police! (Watch left then right clip)
I want bunk beds in hell.
Yeah he is a bitch.
Chain surfing is actually awesome.
This is ridiculous.
ASIAN porn Power Rangers. Yep.
A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
"Mother, where do babies come from?"
The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex."
The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, "That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey." The child seems to comprehend.
"Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?"
"Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry."
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Hot girl.
[NSFW] - Nice tits.
[ SFW ] - She's fine.
[NSFW] - Ass banged.
[NSFW] - Big tittie slut.
[ SFW ] - Pancake man!
[ SFW ] - I like this car.
[NSFW] - Local sexy girl.
[NSFW] - Hey nice rack.
[NSFW] - I love lesbians.
[ SFW ] - Hi, I'm a pussy.
[NSFW] - Areola pancakes.
[ SFW ] - Mathamaticious.
[ SFW ] - She's all natural.
[NSFW] - Cyber sex is fun.
[NSFW] - Humped in public.
[ SFW ] - Drunk girls are fun.
[ SFW ] - A great ebay item.
[ SFW ] - I would kill this dog.
[ SFW ] - Sock monkey.. wut?
[ SFW ] - What an evil prank.
[ SFW ] - Hot Russian Politicians.
[ SFW ] - Win a city trip to Rome.
[ SFW ] - Need a shirt for laughs?
[ SFW ] - Kristanna Loken is sexy.
[ SFW ] - Artie quits the Stern show?
[ SFW ] - 50 greatest comedy sketches.
[ SFW ] - Gaylord is a great dog to own.
[ SFW ] - This is incredible and awesome!
[ SFW ] - You can't be a cop and a ninja.
[ SFW ] - Photoshop is like make-up for ugly people.
» i suck
posted on 04/09/08 by Opie
Note: Send in better jokes.
Sexiest couple ever?
Send yours here!
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Get laid.
[NSFW] - Fuck her.
[NSFW] - Nice dildo.
[ SFW ] - Sexy sexy.
[ SFW ] - Crazy X girl.
[NSFW] - Myspace girls.
[ SFW ] - Keira Knightly.
[ SFW ] - Kimbo Vs Tank.
[ SFW ] - Cam-girl-tastic
[NSFW] - Hot Vikki blows!
[ SFW ] - Her back is neat.
[NSFW] - Hardcore action.
[NSFW] - One night stand.
[NSFW] - Hot Italian chick.
[ SFW ] - Beautiful breasts.
[NSFW] - Bet she gets an A.
[ SFW ] - One on the left is hot.
[ SFW ] - Web design rap video.
[NSFW] - I like the girl on top too.
[ SFW ] - She looks like a little BABY.
[ SFW ] - Are you an online predator?
[ SFW ] - The aliens just need some fuel.
[ SFW ] - Sound check before you buy.. haha
[ SFW ] - Father, daughter have child together.
» bitches and penis
posted on 04/07/08 by Opie
Q and A
Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water?
A: It may take me a while to get hard I just got laid.
No wonder I like to set shit on fire.
Tennis is the new bloodsport.
When it's OK to say "nigger".
Figured that would happen.
This is weird.
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Escort.
[ SFW ] - Nice ass.
[ SFW ] - Free iPod.
[ SFW ] - Hottie strips.
[ SFW ] - Naked rocker?
[ SFW ] - Dublin Fistin tee!
[NSFW] - 18 year old chick.
[ SFW ] - Sexy water sports.
[NSFW] - Two sluts get anal.
[NSFW] - I need a babysitter.
[ SFW ] - Weirdest soap ever.
[ SFW ] - Adriana Lima is Hot!
[ SFW ] - I banged your sister.
[ SFW ] - Highschool girls.. NO!
[NSFW] - Girls wanting to hump.
[NSFW] - Damn those are nice!
[NSFW] - Cute teen threesome.
[NSFW] - Nice outfit and boobs.
[ SFW ] - Smokin hot teen strips
[ SFW ] - This is why Mr. T rules.
[ SFW ] - Katie Holmes is still sexy.
[ SFW ] - Damn this addicting game.
[ SFW ] - Fuck off Noah and your ark!
[ SFW ] - Fat white girl gonna get raped.
[ SFW ] - Wow... this one wont last long.
[ SFW ] - Price is Right idiot player. (older)
[ SFW ] - Southpark was awesome last week.
[ SFW ] - Kumar gets stopped by airport security.
[ SFW ] - "Suicide claims two men who shared one heart"
[ SFW ] - Kid pranks Wal-Mart into cutting their keyboard wires.
[ SFW ] - He said don't post this video! (The DEA guy is a forum member)
posted on 04/04/08 by Opie
Sorry for the late post, will have some the vids and regular stuff Monday. Meanwhile, here's some images and FFL.
Let's dance together.
Wake up cam girl!
What is that bitch doing in the back?
Nigga with a long tongue.
That is a big ass spider.
This was in the paper.
Nice tank top.
Failure at life.
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Blow J.
[ SFW ] - Kiss him.
[NSFW] - Get laid.
[ SFW ] - Naked teen.
[ SFW ] - CAPS LOCK.
[NSFW] - XXX dating.
[NSFW] - Fuck buddy.
[ SFW ] - Weird video.
[ SFW ] - Cheap shirts.
[ SFW ] - Hottie heaven.
[NSFW] - Brutally Fucked.
[NSFW] - Nice doggy style.
[ SFW ] - She likes lobster.
[ SFW ] - Well this is weird.
[NSFW] - Sex favor search.
[NSFW] - Sex on the beach.
[NSFW] - Two girls one guy.
[NSFW] - Those tits are nice.
[ SFW ] - Hottie gets owned.
[ SFW ] - Pole Dance Extreme.
[ SFW ] - Hot teen brazilian babe.
[ SFW ] - The history of mullets.
[ SFW ] - Hillary's fucking Obama.
[ SFW ] - Interracial dating site...
[ SFW ] - What the hell is he fighting?
[ SFW ] - Parody airline safety pictures.
[NSFW] - Uh, this is a fucked up porn site. I like.
[ SFW ] - In case you wanted to see the whole Manson sign video.
» My penis fell off
posted on 04/02/08 by Opie
A senior citizen in Florida bought a brand new Corvette convertible. He took off down the road, flooring it to 80 mph enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought as he roared down I-75.
He pushed the pedal to the metal even more. Then he looked in his rear view mirror and saw a highway patrol trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and siren blaring.
"I can get away from him with no problem" thought the man and he tromped it some more and flew down the road at over 100 mph.
Then 110, 120 mph.
Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing."
He pulled over to the side of the road and waited for the trooper to catch up with him.
The trooper pulled in behind the Corvette and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."
The man looked at the trooper and said, "Years ago my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, Sir," said the Trooper.
Send yours here!
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Fuck her.
[NSFW] - Casual sex.
[NSFW] - Easy pussy.
[NSFW] - Big ass tittas.
[NSFW] - Faces of Death!!
[NSFW] - DVD quality porn.
[NSFW] - Blonde bombshell.
[NSFW] - Older W.O.W clip.
[NSFW] - Fucked via throat.
[ SFW ] - Crazy semi crash.
[ SFW ] - Is this dude gay?
[NSFW] - Great way to date.
[ SFW ] - Nice twins she has.
[ SFW ] - Batman vs Predator.
[ SFW ] - Horse race streaker.
[NSFW] - Her body is awesome.
[ SFW ] - Get free Mc Donald's!
[ SFW ] - Girls that are high rule.
[NSFW] - Never seen that before.
[ SFW ] - I like the Muppets now.
[ SFW ] - Crazy two-headed baby.
[NSFW] - Teen gives great head.
[ SFW ] - I like it when girls dance.
[ SFW ] - This fat kid retarded too?
[ SFW ] - Best asses I've ever seen.
[ SFW ] - WOW coming to consoles!
[ SFW ] - No special effects needed.
[ SFW ] - I'd like the full picture please.
[ SFW ] - Check out the video game shirts.
[ SFW ] - One of the better April Fools sites.
[ SFW ] - Sounds like a hax0r instead of a bug.