06/11/17: All the archives are up-to-date!
CONTENT:
I met a girl on the INTERNET! Not really... posted on 03/31/04 by Opie



HIGH FIVE!!!!



Want some Porno clips? HAHAHAHhaha....



I want one of these

Long read, but so awesome: (I didn't write this)

Well, I debated all day whether I should share with all of you what happened to me last night, so since I can't tell my family i'll tell my fellow juicing family my story.

Ok so yesterday was my cheat day. Probably put away about 8k cals including a lot of alcohol last night. Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night. She's 19, so still a little on the immature side, but im only 21 so its all good.

Anyway i've talked to this girl a few times before, and to make a long story short I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed, didnt bang her, but did pretty much everything else.

So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life. All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte.

Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers. I must have passed out about 10min after she did around 3am. I wake up at about 8am to piss and I find myself covered in shit. Im thinking WTF, and what happened was I shit myself when I was sleeping. It was all over the bed, sheets,etc.... Im freakin out..

So I did the most horrible thing in the world. She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of ther hammies. I get dressed and leave..

This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. Anyway, im really gonna have to avoid her and I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

- FFL -

- Epilepsy part 2?
- Touch his face.
- I'd hit it, twice.
- 3D Superbike game.
- How can this be right?
- Get the nut in the goal.
- Oh no...Not more of these.
- Poke the worm? Pretty gay.
- Nickelback sucks, this proves it.
- Get out of my house!.. DIE BITCH!
- Play the keyboard in that sexy way.
- Oh snap, don't leave your camera behind.
- The Adventures of Seinfeld and Superman.
- 100 Movie that deserve more love. (Well kind of)
- Know anybody in jail? I was searching for midgets.
- Talk to the pink cause yo breath sho' does STANK! Incase it dies try here.

54 comments
I feel like chicken tonight. posted on 03/30/04 by Opie

Edit: I modified the media page code for people that like to use other browsers, let me know if there are any problems.



This has been around awhile, it was re-posted in the forums the other day..
So I decided to post it for you guys that havn't seen it. (Note: Big download)



A much faster way to load a bike.



First ever Quad Backflip. (According to this)



Hey Bobby.



That was COLDDD BLOOD..EDDDDDDD.

- FFL -

- I wish it was real.
- Kind of like Tetris.
- Oh snap! Bird guts.
- Gashlycrumb Tinies.
- The kid sings. Crazy.
- He needs to update.
- Ohhh girl's turn now huh?
- Balance the guy on the wire.
- Behold.. The finger cam trick.
- What the fuck? Name stealer.
- This cop game is way to easy.
- Magic 8-ball secrets unleashed.
- Happy Tree Friends.. Pingu style.
- Hmm you could have fun with this.
- Someone send me the whole concert
- Oh yeah, say this if you get pulled over.
- How would this stop the panty snifters?
- HAHAHA Niggas and Hyenas HAHAHA.. Get it?
- This site isn't just gay, it's fruitcake on a stick.

27 comments
Spank my ass and rule me posted on 03/29/04 by Opie

Helpful tip of the day: Don't down the free wine samples at Olive Garden.. people will look at you like you're crazy.



Remember this dude? Here's an alternate ending. He also has a site.

More vidz bitch



New way of hunting for lions.



His pole got poled.



New game?



This one actually made me gag.. Yummy. (Don't watch while eating)

[TheVirus] So I had a girlfriend for all of 9 months. She dropped by one afternoon when I was sick with a pan of brownies and a video tape with the simpsons on it (my favorite show). so I start eating the brownies and turn on the tape. midway through it, it cuts to her sucking off some dude. he nuts in her mouth, she looks at the camera, and says "you're dumped. enjoy the brownies" - and spits the mouthful of cum into a bowl of brownie mix.
[alexandr-] you didn't keep eating the brownies did you?
[TheVirus] sure did
[TheVirus] i was hungry

Source: bash.org P.S. this site has funny logs like this.

See you in hell


Mo' Images



Eat your heart out Peta.



Anyone got fiddy cents?



Jaws 28.



Smell my finger.



Killer Whale porn comin' at cha!



Skeet Skeet.. on da butt cheeks.

Old school

While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 mph over) I noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge.

The cop pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?"

I replied, "I'm late for work."

"Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

I responded, "I'm a rectum stretcher."

The cop said "What?? A rectum stretcher? What does a rectum stretcher do?"

I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until I can get both hands in there and then I slowly stretch it until it's about 6 foot wide."

The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?"

I simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a bridge..."

The ticket - $ 95.00

The look on his face - PRICELESS

- FFL -

- Flash Fables.
- Big boobs r' us.
- Break-up letter.
- I call bullshit here.
- Karma Sutra game.
- Shaun of the Dead?
- Fun with Fisher Price.
- More 80's commercials.
- I want this on a t shirt.
- I was expecting R Kelly.
- Well, it sure is animated.
- What the hell is this weird shit?
- I hate that Sponge Bob thingy.
- This is a new fetish for me. Sike.
- Wow, check out this new game.
- Run.. JUMP.. and run some more.
- A deformed kitty.. Hip Hip Hooray!
- She gets kicked.. Several fun times!
- I think her ex knows her passwords.
- Super Mario Bros spoof. (Matrix Style)
- His girl must have been a JEW!!! HAHA
- Everyone has a porn "stash" get over it.
- Weeee all the racist viewers will love this.
- FYI..Mr. Rogers was really in the Marines.
- You can't help laughing are these retards.
- Great mix tapes for that special occasion.
- Can we do this here? No window liking fucks.
- YES! I've been looking for a 48 year old man.
- I don't do drugs.. Does that make me a nerd?
- Repost of those webcams, should be fast for awhile.
- I would kick someone if I saw them with one of these.
- Here's what some of those warez group guys look like.
- Any news report with Richard Simmions and the word "slap" is funny.

37 comments
Giddy UP! posted on 03/26/04 by Opie



That's one happy kid.. for some reason. Giggle gaggle.



Make me some money for the site bitches. Buy the DVD!


Short today, because I had shit to do. I should be able to do some archiving Sunday and mo' shit next week as always.

48 comments
I beat my dick like it owes me money posted on 03/25/04 by Opie


And with that being played check out the updated Chappelle's Show Page

Enjoy!



Hi, I need to learn how to drive.



Quick! Someone get this guy a drum set!

Christina and her nipples



Doesn't the kid in the 2nd pic look like DJ from Roseanne?



Someone painted him black!



Hmmm.. Apparently he's going to mow something.



I'm confused on this one.. Undersize that ass sweetie.


- FFL -

- Orgy Escape.
- 3D Racing game.
- Playmate Bloopers.
- Hot girls and stuff.
- New 911 footage?
- Yetisports Karaoke?
- I'm going to see Dr. Wigger.
- Whoa, this is pretty neat-O.
- New Kids on the Block videos!!!!!!!
- What the hell kind of game is this?
- Funny baby pictures, WELLLLL not really.
- We got some tittes everyone.. TITTAS!
- Pee Wee was gay in Blow and in real life.
- What celebs would look like if fat.. Very fat.
- If you run one of those stupid blog type sites read this.
- Click on the pool cameras and you might see some action.
- A safe table saw? Pretty cool except for the cut you still get.
- Halo fans will love this. (Scroll to the bottom and watch the vids)
- Chances are you make your parents smoke. I hate smoke personally.

44 comments
WHAAAT - YAAAEAH - OKAYY - LET'S GO posted on 03/24/04 by Opie

I GOT MAIL YAY!

From: Brandon C
To: ME!
Subject: (blank)

how bout you stop sending people viruses....you should know better than that. Besides, yahoo (AND ALMOST EVERY OTHER EMAIL SERVICE) detects shitty little viruses like the one you sent me!

You are stupid, kill yourself. Learn how to check e-mail headers.



Girls fighting. Meow.



Oww my neck, my back.. My neck and my back!



Matrix and Farting rules.



Owned!

Why did the little girl put a fish in her pocket?

To smell like the big girls.



Aww that's sweet.



Truth or Who Cares?



I've never been this drunk.. I don't think?



GEEEEE WEEEEEEE YIPPEEEEE

So 3 vampires walk into a bar. The first vampire says "yea gimme a Bloddy Marry." so the bartender gives him his Bloddy Marry.

The second vampires says "I'll have a Bloddy Ceaser" so the bartender gives him a Bloddy Ceaser.

The third vampire says "can i have a cup of hot water?" The bartender looks at him funny but brings it to him anyways, and as he does the vampire takes out a used tampon "I'm having hot tea"

- FFL -

- Root beer is nasty.
- 8 queens, Chess is fun.
- Holy shit Carrie is back!
- Typing game with Chickens.
- Tree the Movie. (The main site)
- Remember these magic eye things?
- Any you guys work at McDonalds?
- Oh yes, fuck that bitch right Wilbur!
- Hello my future girlfriend.. Grown up?
- People make some crazy flash movies.
- Wonder if he'll take the 4-banger out.
- Are these girls retarded or something?
- I hate bird shit, now dog shit is CRAZY!
- Someone make me a better one. (Lil' Jon SB)
- Haha more of those trunk monkey commercials.
- Goddamn it should have been crack, NOT WEED!
- So his son can't say dump truck. Or can he?????
- Not too sure about this car.. Is this a commercial?
- Must of done some major cutting to get 22s on that stang.
- These guys like to jump around a lot. **Gay music alert**
- Let's go shoot random people with our very cool paintball guns.
- Want to send big e-mail attachments? (If you're using a free e-mail or something)

51 comments
My head is blank. posted on 03/23/04 by Opie



Holy fuck that must of .. felt like a mosquito bite.



I swallow buttons.. Now what bitches!?



Haha!



I wonder if this guy got in trouble?

- FFL -

- Doggy Poo?
- Ninja Power?
- Ok this is crazy.
- I wear a size 13.
- Catch the fishes.
- Well all right then.
- Hey back up bitch.
- Like Sunset Riders.
- Cat boxing is great.
- William Hung in flash.
- Lots of TITTAS here.
- Dope heads live there.
- New Will Ferrell movie.
- Hahaha made me laugh.
- Another Rick James SB.
- Slow down next time fool.
- Hmmm.. That's Naaasty.
- Classic link... I LIEK MILK!
- RIAA is getting ass-fucked.
- These soldiers are um gay.
- Like Photoshop? Cool editing.
- That's a gay book.. No really it is.
- I bet that kid has three kids too.
- Cock clock. Pretty much gay stuff.
- Gates of hell? Too much time dude.
- Want to learn how to sell your soul?
- These guys have tails. Wiggle Wag.
- Logo Game... It could be a time killer.
- Can't wait for this movie to come out.
- Well this guy is lying, she's a camwhore.
- 911 game? Oh no!, people will start bitching.

Had to keep it short today, I did however get a chance to go through all the shit submitted. (It will be posted this week with the other stuff submitted daily)

P.S. Keep a look out on the updates part under the features.

37 comments
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. posted on 03/22/04 by Opie



It's about time!!!!


I'm having some weird PC problems right now, but did manage to update the site:

If you didn't notice I updated all the features and going to update the chappellesshow page later today.

The stuff from last week will be added to the archives today or sometime this week too.

Lots of other shit tomorrow. (Hopefully my pc will be good)

100 comments
Go sprinkle some crack on him posted on 03/19/04 by Opie



Here's the last part of the Libby videos



In case you missed the first 10 minutes on USA, here it is. Looks skery.

Ok Ok.. More vidz bitch



Yes, My car is a-flamed! - Racist fighting is a No No.



You made me wreck bitch! Suck it. - That thing got a Hemi?

Hey, that ain't right!

A man is sitting at home one day watching television when his girlfriend suddenly bursts through the front door crying. He looks over to her and asks her, "What's wrong?" She looks at him and screams a stream of obscenity at him before running off to their bedroom.

Confused, the man stands up and walks into the bedroom where he sees his girlfriend packing up all her clothes. He asks her what's the matter again, but she just screams at him some more until he finally sits her down on the bed and calms her down.

"Why are you acting this way?" he asks her.

"I was talking to my friend today," she tells him between sniffs, "and she told me you were a pedophile."

The man chuckles and shakes his head before saying, "Pedophile? That's an awfully big word for an eight year-old."

You love images.. Yes you do.. A boo chu boo



This is nasty, I giggled.



Nice ID buddy.



Watch people, watch you... Take a shit. (In the UK)



WEEEEEE COLORING PENCILS!!!



What's that cracka doing up there?



Make your own caption for this one.



200 for the brown-eye I guess.



They must like an audience.



I suggest 40% of you purchase one of these.

- FFL -

- Fly a plane.
- Military Pingu.
- Land the balloon.
- Lookalikes.. dorks.
- Play some Tennis.
- Pingu 3, Pretty fun.
- I'm next kermit! "blush"
- This may help you sleep.
- Cracker Barrel is more fun.
- Not to sure about this game.
- The Exorcist is 30 seconds.
- I still hate cats by the way.
- Wow.. That's an ugly TITTA!
- Game back or you die Daddy!!
- Crazy Asian Helicopter rescue.
- Where are the toons? (He-man)
- Next they will scan our genitals.
- This show is sad, so is this thingy.
- Mr. Bill's old home, check the price.
- I need one of these for next season.
- News with Titties. (Not naked news)
- Holy Cow Church or something scam.
- So that's what is upstairs at Graceland
- This game must be for kids with downs.
- Drive an armored car.. I want to steal one.
- Apparently they want me to drink some milk.
- US soldiers catch some Iraqis doing the nasty.
- Pretty cool, customize your own comics page.
- Hey! There's a rock there, someone should move it.
- Good thing it's not fast!! No boner action would happen at all..
- Turn your speakers up really loud and touch the sun. Not with your finger dummy.

45 comments
I won a math debate (Say that fast) posted on 03/18/04 by Opie



Here's part 4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!....


The guys over at this will shock you finally got some clips and galleries put up from their DVD.

Here's a clip of some chicks beating the hell out of each other:



Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

If you like this, then you'll love this DVD. I have it and the naked girls alone is well worth the 20 bucks. Besides by buying it you help out the site's super duper crazy server bills.

Also if you notice, I don't sell anything else on this site. So this must be something worth buying.. Right?

BUY THE DVD YOU HORNY FUCK!


I'm in the Union too

Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs were.

The first, an engineer, had a dog named "T-Square." The second, an accountant, had a dog named "Slide Rule." The third, a chemist, had a dog called "Measure," and the fourth man was a Union member.

To show off, the engineer called to his dog, "T-Square, do your stuff." T-Square trotted over to a desk, took some paper and a pen, and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good, but the accountant said his dog could do better. He called to his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff." Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He then divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each.

Everyone agreed that was good, but the chemist said his dog could do better. he called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff." Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard, then poured in exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was very good, then they turned to the Union member and said, "What can your dog do?"

The Union member stood up, called his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff." Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, shit on the paper, fucked the other three dogs, claimed he'd injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation, and went home on sick leave.

FFL and other shits and giggles tomorrow. Right now I'm working on the features and downloads section. (Should have all new features by the end of the week.)

51 comments
Sexy Ass = Fun in the brown sun. posted on 03/17/04 by Opie



Here's part 3, also here's a whole page with stuff about her.

Passion of the Christ fun:



Is that Dave Chappelle? (Ignore the bad spelling)



Can a nigga get some red Koolaid?

More Vids



Old school vid, still funny. (Crab has a bad day)



Any Doom fans out there? - Drunk?



WEEEEEEEEEE 1 - WEEEEEEEEEE 2

Log (What a dumbass)

[Cthon98] hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
[Cthon98] ********* see!
[AzureDiamond] hunter2
[AzureDiamond] doesnt look like stars to me
[Cthon98] [AzureDiamond] *******
[Cthon98] thats what I see
[AzureDiamond] oh, really?
[Cthon98] Absolutely
[AzureDiamond] you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
[AzureDiamond] haha, does that look funny to you?
[Cthon98] lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
[AzureDiamond] thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
[Cthon98] yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
[AzureDiamond] awesome!
[AzureDiamond] wait, how do you know my pw?
[Cthon98] er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
[AzureDiamond] oh, ok.

48 comments
Smile, you're on :::POONVISION::: posted on 03/16/04 by Opie



Libby Hoeler part 2.

I forgot to tell you guys about this girl.. Well apparently she cheated on her boyfriend and he sent on the "private" webcam shows. Yep that's it.. or IS IT??????



Yay, someone made a Rick James Soundboard.



GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.!?



Go choke your chicken.



Eat your heart out Rhonda.



Damn, I'd be in jail forever.


A Bad Day...

A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying.

"Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was still in the cab.

At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life, and then you show up and drink the poison."

- FFL -

- Home video?
- Sheepteroids.
- Clay shooting.
- Princess part 1.
- Princess part 2.
- Niggaz wif burgas.
- Mazda commercial.
- D.O.T.D Movie game.
- Britney Spears nude.
- Crazy cars and stuff.
- Don't let them escape.
- When wild cats attack.
- TV station gets owned.
- eBay will ditch this soon.
- OR.. Show me your titties.
- I like the name of this game.
- Re-post for David. (Told ya)
- The Crow rules.. They don't.
- I don't like these type of games.
- Oh no! Bad words.. A LOT ha ha.
- Homepage of those fun Pingu games.
- Why would you believe this anyway?
- He doesn't like Live Journals either.
- Another retard tHaz typEz lkei thZ..
- Dang, I wanted one. (REVENGE HAHAHAHAHA..)

Oh yeah, got this:

You're such a rag(?? ha ha) ...... the background song at your wake is going to be 'ding dong the witch is dead'

If I had feelings that would hurt. Wait, not really.. Tool.

ALSO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <---------- Look, it means important

I swear if I get one more goddamn mother fucking e-mail asking where something is I'm going split my penis in half.

Learn how to search a site! IT'S CALLED ARCHIVES, I can not stress this enough. You stupid, stupid people.

30 comments
Let's go smoke some towels. posted on 03/15/04 by Opie



Meet Libby Hoeler.


I remember first seeing her on Bizzos a year or so ago, then I was at Flabber the other day and noticed the videos again. Since the site with the videos died I took it upon myself to get the (thanks to forum member Gouranga) vids for you fucks. I'll have one for you all this week. Enjoy.

Some got pissed for the Live Journals, so I'm posting some more. (Thanks Andrew)

Enjoy your stay at the lovely internet.

Idiot.
Slap.
Moron.
Kill me.
REEEEtard.
I feel dumber now.
What's that you say?
Suicide is "in" now days.
Bling Bling.. you.. suck.

Anything else?

32 comments

 

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