A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.
He said "How bad is it doc?. I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancee is still a virgin in every way."
The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week."
So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl marries and goes on their honeymoon.
That night in the motel room she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts.
This was the first time he saw them.
She said, "You're the first; no one has ever touched these breasts."
He immediately drops his pants and replies.. "Look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"
Q: How do you know a black woman is pregnant?
A: All the cotton is picked off her tampon.
The uncut version of that "friendly" lion video.
Dog falls and still gets first. (Cheater!)
He's good.
This cat can box like a champ.
How did he not get hit? (May be re-post?)
Line drive to the face.
The fastest swimmer in the world.
Donuts!
Beavis and Butthead do porn!
Joke
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
-I do physical labor.
-I work at great depths.
-I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
-I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
-I work in a damp environment.
-I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
-I work in high temperatures.
-My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The Response
Dear Penis:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
-You do not work 8 hours straight.
-You fall asleep after brief work periods.
-You do not always follow the orders of the management team. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
-You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
-You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
-You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
-You will retire well before you are 65.
-You are unable to work double shifts.
-You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
-You've been seen walking into the "exit only" more than once.
-And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
This video is crazy if you're high. (Song about cats)
New 911 footage.
Joke
Rrriiiiinnnnggg, rrriiiinnnngg,
"Hello?"
"Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle George."
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle George."
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now."
Brief Pause.
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay, Daddy, Just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it, Daddy."
"And what happened, honey?" He asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle George?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he's dead."
***Long Pause***
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool? ............Is this 555-5731? "
Images
Cat without a face and 3 three legs.
How is she still alive?
Babies and raptors!
I would attend her church.
DAMN NIGGA!
Hi, I'm dumb.
This tiger retarded?
He sure can.
Must have been some party.
Yeah, looks like he's going to shop their heads off.
Updated daily with 21 archived seasons and counting..
Since everyone loves W.O.W so much why not make it
daily?
Here you'll see the funniest clips that have been
posted. (Best Of Entensity)
I'm a fan of boobs and so are most people that come
here, so show yours to me!
Movie Clip Of The Week. Just a random funny or awesome
clip from a movie.
