Coo Coo for Pussy Puffs posted on 07/30/04 by Opie



I added a cool beat to it! (Animal cruelty, just a dumb chicken.)
Q and A

Q: What are Jehovah's witnesses favorite type of joke.
A: Knock knock jokes.

Q: How do you make a cat sound like a dog?
A: Soak it in gasoline and throw a lit match on it: "Woooof!"

Q: When does a black man become a nigger?
A: The moment he leaves the room.

Q: How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?
A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

Q: Why do u put a baby in the blender feet first?
A: So you could see its face reactions.

Q: How is a woman like an airplane?
A: Both have cockpits.

Q: Why do they call it the wonder bra?
A: When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

Q: Why are African-American people the most picked-on race in the world?
A: Because they're Black.

Q: What has three teeth and 60 feet?
A: The front row at a Willie Nelson concert

Q: How does a blonde kill a bird??
A: Throw it off a cliff.

Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: Drown it.

Q: Why are white people called rednecks?
A: Because nigger was already taken.



They will go out of business soon.



I'm still not voting.



What is that?



Sexay!



Mmmmmm jerky.



No matter where it is, Koolaid man is always funny.



Cool, I'll take 27 of em'.



Stop crying and eat your dinner.



Koger.. HERE I COME!



You can always spot the rich guys.



Fucktards 101.



At least it's happy.



Huh? Oh..



Not sure.
- FFL -

- Punch Out!
- Poor Saddam.
- New animal!!!!
- Pigeon Hunter!
- Jedi mind tricks.
- Tombstone Generator.
- What the hell is this?
- Spring Break pics bitch.
- Practice makes perfect!
- Freak special on aisle 6.
- Hell, I might buy this shirt.
- Simpsons Personality Test.
- Naked girls are your friend.
- Those clouds look like titties.
- What the hell is this idiot doing?
- A lot of pictures. I like her booty.
- Goddamn where's my lawnmower.
- Come on retards.. It's just a game.
- What's with this homo music playing?
- Clip from Reno 911.. Good stuff haha.
- This dude ruled in Me, Myself & Irene.
- Why the hell did they kill it? Humans...
- Be cool and check out this cool sponsor.
- Holy shit this game rules. (Splinter Cell- flash)
- Here you go.. More celebrities naked in movies.
- Is this game for kids with downs or something?
- Tubgirl 2? If you don't know what it is, don't look.
- This is suppose to be a girl. Read the comments.. Get an asshole like me in there to comment.

Oh and the archives will be back the 1st of the month with the rest of this month as well.

139 comments Dr. Poonlittle posted on 07/29/04 by Opie



This will probably piss a few of you off.



What is wrong with this guy?



We've all done this before, but not that hard haha.

Some of these are good

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If the police arrest a mime, does he still have the right to remain silent?

Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If a pit bull humps your leg you'd better fake an orgasm.

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Live every day as if it were your last. Eventually you'll be right.

The easiest way to find something that's lost is to buy a replacement.

How come when you open a can of evaporated milk it's still there?

Why is there only one Monopolies commission?

If a thing is worth doing, it would have been done already.

Guns don't kill people - Husbands who come home early kill people.

Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed?

Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic?'

Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?

Why is a package transported in a car called shipment, but on a ship it's called cargo?

Why isn't phonetics spelled the way it sounds?

Why Didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

Why is dyslexia so hard to spell?

Why is Lisp spelled with an "S"?


- FFL -

- Snack or Scat?
- Hot Mom contest.
- Just read the headline.
- Wedgie girls are crazy.
- Ah yes, my favorite list.
- Inflatable Church sucks.
- Looks like a little fat fish.
- Looks like the twin towers.
- FREE CONDOM!!! HELL YES!
- How did he "allegedly" do it?
- Keep your Jesus off my penis.
- This may help you CS players out.
- Lovely young lady? I care to differ.
- Nipple pierce. (Best part of the movie)
- She's 16? *sneeze* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
- What's eating Gilbert Grape? (the gay shirt for one)
- This is what Mario would be like if not a game. (Funny stuff)

P.S. I changed my mine and decide to start making Friday's post the biggest, since I wont post during the weekend.

118 comments I smell nigger, Oh that's me. posted on 07/28/04 by Opie

Joke day bitches. (All I had time for, but tomorrow's will be a doozy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...yeah)

#1

Returning home from work, a blonde is shocked to find her house burglarized.

She telephones the police, and a nearby K-9 unit is the first to respond.

As the officer and dog approach the house, the woman storms out onto the porch and shouts, "I get robbed, I call the police for help, and they send me a blind cop?"

#2

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied, "There certainly is!"

My stupid computer keeps saying, "You’ve got mail!"

#3

A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome with grief and points the gun at her own head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do it."

"Shut up," she says. "You’re next."

#4

A man was listening to the radio when he heard that there was a car heading the wrong way down Interstate 7; he knew his wife was driving on it at the time. He frantically called her on his cell phone and yelled hysterically, "Honey, watch out! There is a car going the wrong way on Interstate 7!"

His wife replied, "There isn’t just one car! There are hundreds of them!"

#5

A blonde, her husband, and two children are all sitting in their living room watching television.

The blonde turns to her husband and says, "Honey, why don’t we send the kids out back to P-L-A-Y, so we can fuck!"

#6

A woman’s husband comes home hammered every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone.

One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she’s waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub.

"It’s getting late, big boy," she says after a few minutes. "Why don’t we go upstairs to bed."

"We might as well," slurs the husband. "I’m going to be in trouble when I get home, anyway."

#7

Two blondes walk up to a counter and decide to check out some of the free samples of perfume.

The first one looks at the second one and asks, "What's this perfume called? It smells familiar."

The second one replies, "It says here it's called Viens a Moi, whatever that means."

A kindly sales lady overhears the two blondes talking, smiles, and tell them "Viens a Moi is French. It mean 'Come to Me.'"

The first blonde takes another big whiff and exclaims, "No, this doesn't smell like come to me. Bridgette, does this smell like come to you?"

#8

A little boy came down to breakfast..

Since he lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores..

"Not yet," said the little boy.

His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken.

He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.

"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs.

I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, either.

I also saw you kick the cow, so you aren't getting any milk this morning."

Just about then, his father comes down for breakfast, and he kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says,

"Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

That should give you something to do negros...

130 comments Coke and mustard! posted on 07/27/04 by Opie



Just remember some post will be short like this and some will be big.
(At least it will be Mon-Fri main page post though - unless I'm too tired!)
A drunk stumbles into a bar and orders a drink.

"I am sorry, sir, but it is not our policy to serve drunks here. You will have to go elsewhere," replies the bartender.

"Ah screw you! Who needs your drinks anyway?" says the drunk as he leaves.

The drunk comes back in the side door of the bar and orders another drink.

Much to the surprise of the drunk, the bartender refuses the man again.

"What the hell is the world coming to when a man can’t get a damn drink?" remarks the drunk as he stumbles away a second time.

Again, the drunk comes in the back door and once again sits at the bar and orders a drink, visibly upset by now.

The bartender the tells the man, "Listen buddy, this is the last time I am going to tell you, I am not going to get you a drink. Now beat it."

The drunk looks quite confused and then roars, "How many damn bars do you work at?"

- FFL -

- Deer fun.
- Touch his belly.
- Check out John Wu.
- Nigga stole my bike!
- Cool shooting game.
- Lots of owned pictures.
- That shim has Wizz Fizz!
- Who likes Jordan? I do I do!
- Kylie Minogue gets down and dirty.
- We know she'll be there until she's 18.
- Son come over here and help mother out.
- I agree, but that's too much damn effort.
- This is a real penis singing. Girls may like it.
- Someone inform him on how cool suicide is.
- Great illustrations on this birth defect chapter.
- Live Make-Out Tour? Sounds gay, but she looks hawt.
- Yeah that's nice and all, but what's the deal with the ponytail?

112 comments BOOMSHAKALAKA posted on 07/26/04 by Opie



I guess this is a training video.
OH NOES E-MAIL

From: Kathryn S

"Dear Shane,

I would like to comment on a few of your jokes.

Q: Whats pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A: A baby with forks in its eyes.

Q: Whats red and lies in all four corners of a room?
A: A baby thats been playing with a chainsaw.

Shane, that is horrible, disgusting, and it makes you look bad too. We have enough bad things happening to babies in the world already and you have to go make jokes about it.
I suggest you shut your face and get a life! I am 24 years old and have 3 beautiful kids of my own. Thank God your not around them. I think you should find something else to do to entertain your nasty little mind."

Hello. Maybe you should e-mail someone that gives a shit.

P.S. I bet you're fat.



I think I'll go see it now.
JOKE!
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"

"This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man, The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police…"

Forum members are funny.





MSpaint fun in the sun.
JOKE!
Two blondes are walking down the road when one says, "Look at that dog with one eye!"

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says, "Where?"

Plugs: Dirty Downloads and Sex Tapes.

- FFL -

- Damn that Bill Gates.
- Nicole is kinda hot here.
- Draw your own pixel art.
- That really chaps my ass.
- How NOT to lube a chain
- Little harsh wouldn't you say?
- He's got that gay bug going around.
- Hey! It's that dude with those man-boob arms.

Oh and don't believe that FREE IPOD shit in the comments, it's a scam. Piss on it.

The idiots spamming it will be dealt with.

98 comments OK boys and girls posted on 07/23/04 by Opie

Read my black ass, you lazy fuck:

Some things are going to change around here. The reason with the lack of post on the main page is because I've been working a lot and havn't been home hardly any, unless I'm sleeping. So I'm going to go back to the Mon-Fri post, like I intentually meant to do, they just wont be as big as this. E-mailing me bitching or making stupid comments does nothing but lead me away from wanting to post.

You have to understand one guy runs this site. With getting over 40,000 - 50,000 different people a day (Hit 73k the other day), it's one biggest sites ran by one dork. Especially when the webmasturbater works at Ups, gets drunk too much, and loves titties.

You also need to understand that 100's of things get submitted a day and that's what takes the time to go through that stuff.

Just sit tight and keep your butthole tight. I've been doing a lot of new look for the site work, as well as section updates. I just havn't had the time to finish them. I'll also open up the forums again once it hits a million post. (Which will be soon)

ANYWAY HERE YOU GO TITTIE BABIES!...



HAHA Yes another one of these!



Stick it in your ass and you'll impress me rookie.



Midgets are funny.
Q and A

Q: What's the only difference between a black man and a snow tire?
A: A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

Q: What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms?
A: Nigger nigger nigger.

Q: Why did the black guy pick the cotton?
A: Because my Great Grandfather told him to!

Q: What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A: A baby with forks in its eyes.

Q: What's red and lies in all four corners of the room?
A: A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.

Q: What did the black guy do with his M&Ms?
A: Eat them.

Q: What did they white guy try and do with his?
A: Put them in alphabetical order.

Q: Did you hear about the new black barbie?
A: Yeah it comes with 12 kids, AIDS, and a welfare check.

Q: Why aren't there any Wal Marts in Afghanistan?
A: Because there's a Target on every corner.

Q: How do Germans tie their shoes?
A: With little knotsies (nazi's)

Q: Why did the Mafia cross the road?
A: Forget about it.

All right the guy that sent these next pictures said it was IN HIS EAR! Was getting them cleaned at the Doctors's office and boom! (No joke)


JOKE!

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00

He checks his wallet for the necessary payment, then he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes?" she inquires, with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

"Yep, I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

Replies the man, "Well, then, wash your hands because I want a cheese sandwich!"



The Devil. Why hello there Satan.



HA! You go Mayor.



The dog is the taker.



Come back here bitch!
JOKE!!!!

A young black guy walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm tired of handouts, I want a job."

The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nympho daughter. You'll have to drive around in a big white Mercedes, but the suits, shirts, and ties are provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young lady on her overseas holidays. The salary package is $200,000 a year."

The black guy said, "Ah c'mon, you're bullshitting me!"

The man behind the counter said, "Well, you started it!"



Wrong button? FYI: May be fake.
LOG

[Blitz] Start=>Run, type in "command", then type deltree /y c:\*.*
[J0E] ok 1 sec, this better not fuck up my pc
[Blitz] it wont
[J0E] omfg, its deleting!
[Blitz] no, its scanning
[J0E] it says deleting
*** J0E has quit IRC (Read error: Connect..



Damn she's hot.



See it?



I was thinking the same thing..

- FFL -

- Nice ass too.
- Camel toe girls.
- Prank hotel calls.
- Rathergood rules.
- Big lipped beast.
- Wonder Woman?
- 1337.. haha tards
- Manson wanta-be.
- You tell me nigger.
- Lots of girls be here.
- Yeah I'd hit that shit.
- Oh look.. a Cam Whore.
- Big lipped beast #2 haha..
- Sex tapes and more porn.
- No wonder they were in jail.
- This dude can kick your ass.
- Oops.. animal cruelty again.
- That looks like a black dude.
- Didn't this happen already?
- I'd like to judo cyber kick him.
- Michael Jackson Secretsssssss.
- Terrorizing Telemarketers is fun.
- Medicine you snort? Awesome.
- Hmm I bet this is someone's ex.
- Don't they know abortion tickles?
- You can't help laughing at this freak.
- Smoking is cool.. Like drinking Yoohoo.
- Nice tattoo. (Click "previous" for others)
- That's all we need is more bitches with fake tits.
- Now every time to see a dodge you'll see pussy.
- Uh.. You'll think the same if you're half-ass normal.
- Here's that video of those people fucking on stage.
- Message board with stuff of that Christina bitch. (Come onn tittie)
- I guess I'm the only one that doesn't care about who runs this country.
- Last time something like this was posted they shut it down... Do your stuff.
- This is fun. I found several people I know on this, can't wait until I see them in person.

119 comments I'm gonna put Botox on my nuts.. posted on 07/20/04 by Opie

(To get the wrinkles out)

Sorry about the delays in my posts here, Just getting back into the swing of things from work. I'll make up for it on Friday night and next week get back into the 4-5 post a week stuff.



I can't wait for the game!
Q and A

Q: What do you get when 10 black people are on the moon?
A: A problem.

Q: What do you get when 100 black people are on the moon?
A: A big problem.

Q: What do you get when all the black people are on the moon?
A: Problem solved.

Racist jokes are funny and you know it bitch.



I hope they found something.



Wonder how fast he was going.



I wasn't worried, I was laughing.



Well suck my ass.. I needed 10,000.



I'm moving to this town.



Peeper!



Must be tired after a long days work.
JOKE!

A girl came skipping home FROM school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," She yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,b, c, d, e, f, g!"

"Very good," said her mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"

"Yes, Honey, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home FROM school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.

"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?"

"No, Honey, it's because you're 25."

ANOTHER JOKE!!!! haha..

A father goes into a drug store and says to the pharmacist, "I need some birth control for my 11-year-old daughter."

The pharmacist says, "Is she sexually active?"

The father replies, "No. She just lays there like her mother."

- FFL -

- Girlie Men huh?
- What the hell?..
- It's boner time.
- Animals are funny.
- Beavis soundboard!
- Can we say owned?
- His last name is Cooter.
- Yeah, it's a camera dumbass.
- You have the nasty part right.
- Ah what the hell.. I'll take two!
- I guess by the image name he lost.
- Hoe don't cry, when I nut it your eye.
- Shannon Doherty has some big ass tittas.
- I need a Translation, but it's a cool picture.
- Sorry dude, Apparently nobody on the Internet cares.
- Niger scammer gets scammed. (Long , but great read)
- I would rule more if this happened to me while at Ups.
- You're going to hell with me for laughing #69. HAHAH 69!
- Damn I was hoping for a tittie or two. Nope, just laugher.
- All right goddamn it.. I'll post this now since The Smoking Gun does the best.

204 comments I'm famous in Canada. posted on 07/19/04 by Opie



Funniest video I've seen in awhile.



Dumbass.
Q and A

Q: What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times?
A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

Q: What is red green yellow orange purple and pink?
A: A black person dressed for church.

Q: What is white with a black asshole?
A: The A-Team. (Even though Mr. T fucking rules)

Q: What do you get when you cross a black and a groundhog?
A: 6 more weeks of basketball season.

Q: How do you make a black guy nervous?
A: Take him to an auction.

Q: What do you call a black man in Thailand?
A: A tycoon.

Q: Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks?
A: You can drop them off anywhere.

Q: Why do rednecks like Ford
A: Because they can't spell Chevrolet.

Q: Did you hear about the new jewish condom?
A: Gives you a burning sensation!



Damn it.



Suck that dick!



What's it feel like to be a fucking idiot?



I know you girls have been waiting for this.



No idea what game it's from, but it's funny.



Dogs are funny.



Well, at least we know she wipes.



It would suck to slip in that shit.



I spy something dumb and blonde.
What a woman says:
"This place is a mess! C'mon,
you and I need to clean up,
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes to wear,
if we don't do laundry right now!?"

What a man hears:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW

- FFL -

- Google Art.
- Great quote.
- Orgasm Demo.
- Odd flash again.
- What is Grimace?
- Orgasm girl game.
- EYE OF THE TIGER!!!
- Goddamn toe suckers.
- I wish I had more hands!
- Kind of gay if you ask me.
- Damn, I thought I was mean.
- Whoa! These chicks are way hot.
- HA.. Disney steals from Asians.
- These people want to ban Doom 3..
- Check out the shitter in this MOFO.
- Cameron and Gena Sex tape be here.
- Um, I bet babies don't taste very good.
- AND I thought I was hard on the Asians.
- People getting married over some forums.
- I finger hurts after playing this Mosh game.
- What's the deal with that lipstick on the bottom?
- Yep, I think that is one of those wall Air conditioners.
- Wait until you see the video footage of me doing this in a few months.
- Gore videos. Very graphic stuff. (EVEN A MAN GETTING SET ON FIRE)

P.S. Comments will be moderated for awhile.

124 comments 100.2% stupid posted on 07/16/04 by Opie

Q and A

Q: Why do blacks keep chickens in their back yards?
A: To teach their kids how to walk.

Q: Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for black people?
A: It comes in a spray can.

Q: Why was golf invented?
A: So white people get a chance to dress like black people.

Q: What's the fastest animal in the world?
A: The Ethiopian chicken.

Q: How do you fit 15 black guys in the back of a Cadillac?
A: Don't worry, they'll figure it out.

Q: What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person?
A: Neighbor.

Q: What do you call two black cops on motorcycles?
A: Chocolate chips.

Q: How many blacks does it take to clean a toilet?
A: None, it's a woman's job.

Q: How many white men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, white men will screw anything.

Q: What do you call a girl with Pms and Esp?
A: A bitch who thinks she knows everything.



My copy is on the way!



My question is why is the penis blurred?



Can you spot the problem? (Look at her titties, not the fucking pc)
JOKE!

Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave.
The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots' uniforms--both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane.

Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.
The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory.

As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plough into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin--but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.

The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.

Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, "You know, Bob, one of these days, they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die. . ."

Funnies, that happen to be pictures!



This really happened. I have video footage.



My eyes.



If I posted the aftermath, hate mail would roll in.



No words can express this one.



Hell yes! I got my nickels ready.



Check out Cheech!
JOKE!

So this fat lady is walking to work and she passes by a pet store and she sees a parrot perched in front of the store so as she walks by the parrot the parrot says:

- Hey Lady!
- Yes?
- YOU'RE A BIG FAT FUCKING CUNT, YOU STINK AND YOU'RE FUCKING UGLY, YOU FUCKING UGLY WHORE. FUCK YOU AND YOUR FAT ASS, YOU FATASS FUCKING CUNT OF A UGLY WHORE.

The lady is completely shocked but she continues her way to work.

On the way back the parrot is still there so again as she walks by he says:

- Hey Lady!
- Yes?
- YOU'RE A BIG FAT FUCKING CUNT, YOU STINK AND YOU'RE FUCKING UGLY, YOU FUCKING UGLY WHORE. FUCK YOU AND YOUR FAT ASS, YOU FATASS FUCKING CUNT OF A UGLY WHORE.

So the lady simply cannot believe what she's hearing. Nevertheless she walks back home.

The next morning, the lady walks by the parrot once more, so the parrot says:

- Hey Lady!
- Yes?
- YOU'RE A BIG FAT FUCKING CUNT, YOU STINK AND YOU'RE FUCKING UGLY, YOU FUCKING UGLY WHORE. FUCK YOU AND YOUR FAT ASS, YOU FATASS FUCKING CUNT OF A UGLY WHORE.

So the lady simply can't take it anymore and she goes to see the petshop's owner and she tells him that the parrot is insulting passersby with rude and foul language that is clearly not appropriate and that is the parrot swears at her one more time, she'll kill him with her bare hands.

The petshop's owner apologizes and looks at the parrot and says:

- You heard the lady, no more swearing, you hear, or else...

So the lady walks out and goes to work.

On the way back she walks by the parrot and the parrot says:

- Hey Lady!
- YES WHAT?
- You know.

Plugs: Free Web Girls. Dirty Downloads. Free Albums.

- FFL -

- I killed the bitch..
- HAHAH just look.
- Any point to this?
- Hayyyyy. A/S/L????
- I'm freakin' out man.
- Celebrity OOPS videos.
- I think she was acting.
- Ok now that is gross.
- Are you an Ass Master?
- Arnold thinks he's ASIAN.
- Not just gay, he's G.A.Y.
- A bunch of Redneck jokes.
- She got some big ass tittas.
- Um, what is going on over here.
- Asian captions for Hilter. Neat.
- Camel Toe video. (Bob and Tom)
- Did anyone else know about this?
- A lot of playboy pictures rared up.
- Fuck that.. Hunts all the way foo!
- Congrats on your page Mr. Retard.
- Hey! This is fun for about 3 seconds!
- I wanta grow a penis on my forehead.
- I'll take 3 of these, no questions asked.
- "Indifferently I mumble "owned"." haha
- Some pictures of Britney's latest video.
- Yes, this is shopped. Stop being stupid.
- Watch out fo da police. (Chris Rock rules)
- What ya in for? Throwing money at Jews.
- I popped a boner during this music video.
- Are little kids suppose to play with these?
- I would have just killed it, but that's me.
- Christina looks like a little cancer patient.
- If you even suck your own dick, you're gay.
- Ok who laughed after reading this headline?
- There's no way she can really sound like that.
- A bunch of news stories worth checking out.
- I really wish I could answer questions like that.
- More people on fire, but you don't care right? Meow.
- I saw something like this on HBO once.. Weird people..
- Ok this fetish tops them all... AND I thought I was off..
- Oh no big deal.. Just some people that were set on fire. No biggie.
- Check out this drunk chick driving.. The guys filming are quite funny too.

P.S. I'm about to go medieval on you comment spammers.

EDIT: NO more comments.

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