posted on 05/13/09 by Opie
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."
The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."
The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."
"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"
"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"
"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."
The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.
"What are you doing?" asks the wife.
The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."
The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.
When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.
"Now what are you doing?" She asks.
The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."
"Tiger wouldn't do that."
"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"
"He'd come back to bed and do it again."
The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.
When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.
The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"
"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what's par for this damn hole!"
Looks like fun.
He's on a boat.
Fat Goth, YAY!
Is that a pelican?
I see now.
He fucked shit up.
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Girl on Girl.
[NSFW] - She's good.
[NSFW] - Boobie sites.
[NSFW] - Nice sex tape.
[ SFW ] - You'll love these.
[ SFW ] - KILL SHIT! (Game)
[NSFW] - The best FREE porn.
[NSFW] - Tied up and banged.
[ SFW ] - Jesus Christ Cologne.
[ SFW ] - Car crash test failure.
[NSFW] - Chat with naked girls.
[ SFW ] - Captain Save-A-Hoe.
[NSFW] - Sluts of the INTERNET!
[NSFW] - She didn't pass Sex-Ed.
[ SFW ] - Haha that can't be real.
[ SFW ] - Cool emergency landing.
[ SFW ] - Is that one or two girls?
[ SFW ] - He must not have any nuts.
[NSFW] - Cock WOW! (From the porn awards)
[ SFW ] - Another good Britain's Got Talent singer.
[ SFW ] - Hit em' while their wet! Beer pong rafts for your pool!
posted on 05/11/09 by Opie
Dick in a Box Sequel - Mother Lover
Guy crying gets in trouble by his Dad. (And keyboard cat)
My Little Pony live action trailer.
Doesn't she know he's gay?
Monster truck back flip!
Human popcorn machine.
The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'
'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.'
'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?'
'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.
The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks.. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is..
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?'
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Nudes.
[ SFW ] - Tila Tequila.
[NSFW] - College orgy.
[NSFW] - Acrobatic sex.
[ SFW ] - Did you know?
[NSFW] - Her tits are nice.
[ SFW ] - Card toss game.
[ SFW ] - Zombie Survival.
[NSFW] - Get a secret fling.
[ SFW ] - Sexy MMA fighters.
[ SFW ] - The best of Stifler.
[ SFW ] - Cat Vs Plastic wrap.
[NSFW] - Homemade sex tape.
[ SFW ] - Top 10 flying knee KOs.
[ SFW ] - Funny ASIAN comedian.
[ SFW ] - He's a good bicycle rider.
[ SFW ] - Obama is a funny fucker.
[ SFW ] - Guess he got arm implants.
[ SFW ] - Half a car that actually runs.
[ SFW ] - Miss Pole Dance World 2009.
[NSFW] - Here are those Rihanna nudes.
[ SFW ] - A rare version of Gin and Juice.
[ SFW ] - FOR THE KEYBOARD CAT FANS!
[ SFW ] - The Fonz teaches you self defense.
[ SFW ] - There's going to be a Deadpool spinoff.
[ SFW ] - Dude catches snapping turtles with is hands.
» I love my penis
posted on 05/08/09 by Opie
Star Trek fans don't like the new movie.
I like how Drew is laughing his ass off.
That's a Huge Bitch!
How to say 12 months in Estonian. haha
Minus the braces, I love her.
Bad ass choke out.
This dog can swim good.
Teacher slaps a student. (Looks fake, but funny)
A Canadian, who can't stand the cold anymore, decides to leave Canada.
He packs up, ties a sled on the roof of his car, and tells his wife, "I'm going to drive south until somebody asks me what's on the roof of my car. That's where we're going to settle down"
So he makes it all the way to Alabama, and finally a guy asks him what the sled is. He is so overjoyed, he immediately buys a house, starts looking for a job, and calls his friends back in Canada to tell them he's found his new home.
A month later, his buddy comes down from Canada to see him, but upon arriving at his friend's new house, he finds it completely empty. The buddy goes looks over and sees the neighbour standing outside drinking a beer.
He asks "Have you seen the guy who bought this house?"
The neighbor says,"Not for a couple of weeks. The last time I saw him he'd pack up things, and was heading north with a nigger tied to the roof of his car"
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Nice rack!
[ SFW ] - $9 T-Shirts!
[ SFW ] - Kill zombies!
[ SFW ] - Oh this is neat.
[ SFW ] - Stewie He-Man!
[NSFW] - Barely legal teens.
[NSFW] - She sure is playful.
[NSFW] - They crave the cock.
[NSFW] - She likes it in da butt.
[NSFW] - Bang Myspace whores.
[ SFW ] - ASIAN boob game show.
[ SFW ] - ALMOST SAW A TITTAY!
[NSFW] - Three hotties and one dork.
[ SFW ] - What is that riding the bike?
[NSFW] - Uncensored Snoop Dogg video.
[NSFW] - What a fantastic page to view.
[ SFW ] - Another Rambo movie. Fuck yeah!
[NSFW] - You can pay me in RAPE DOLLARS!
[ SFW ] - A cat I actually like even more now.
[NSFW] - Cam girls are the best when naked.
[ SFW ] - Uh oh. Another cat being set on fire.
[ SFW ] - Guy caught spanking it. Pretty funny.
[NSFW] - Maybe the best ass you'll see all day.
[NSFW] - The Hottest Amateur Girl Ever Fucked.
[ SFW ] - Girl Arrested for Swearing on 9-11 call.
[ SFW ] - I would have liked to be a sniper this day.
[ SFW ] - Homemade Wolverine claws that don't suck.
[ SFW ] - Who in their right mind would pick a fight with Kiefer.
[ SFW ] - FREE KFC CHICKEN! THANKS OPRAH, YOU ARE STILL FAT.
[ SFW ] - Jamie Foxx "Blame It" PARODY Blame It On The Black People!
» let's be friends
posted on 05/06/09 by Opie
Wolverine (in 30 Seconds)
The Matrix (Indian Version)
The vocal vagina is kind of gross.
A truck driving is driving down the road, when he sees two black guys with a broken-down bicycle.
It's starting to rain so he pulls over to offer a ride.
"Yeahhh man, our bicycle is broken down, both of us we needs a ride."
OK, says the truck driver, but I don't have room in the cab so you'll have to ride in the trailer.
I also have a whole load of bowling balls in the back, so you'll have to squeeze in.
A few miles later he gets pulled over by two troopers. One trooper is checking the tires, the brakes and when he opens the back doors, he yells out
"Emergency! Seal off the area"
The other trooper comes running to see what's the problem.
"He has a truckload of nigger eggs, two of them hatched, and they've already stolen a bike!!!
Animated GIF Fun
- FFL -
[NSFW] - BLOW J!
[NSFW] - Sex tape.
[NSFW] - Free porn!
[NSFW] - She's pretty.
[NSFW] - Naked teens.
[NSFW] - Facebook sluts.
[ SFW ] - Yeah he's dumb.
[ SFW ] - Legos Gone Wild!
[NSFW] - Fuck a real pussy.
[ SFW ] - Find X...Good Work.
[NSFW] - Reverse cowgirl is hot.
[ SFW ] - Planes that hit birds.
[ SFW ] - Great acting here guys.
[ SFW ] - Dumb girls are the best.
[ SFW ] - Obama is the Karate Kid.
[ SFW ] - Edward Scissorfeet.. haha
[ SFW ] - Kids VS Zombie. (ASIANS)
[ SFW ] - Megan Fox in the morning.
[ SFW ] - This guy is a fucking idiot.
[ SFW ] - Thief gets knocked the fuck out.
[ SFW ] - Haha, Can this really happen? haha
[ SFW ] - Some of the best game shows ever.
[ SFW ] - Banned Japanese baseball commercial.
[ SFW ] - Holy shit at this 6 year old ping pong player!
» mutha fucka
posted on 05/04/09 by Opie
Cleveland Tourism videos that are freaking hilarious.
Listen up guys, this is how you live a long life.
Jamming with the fire alarm.
Like the Indian Chuck Norris.
After watching sales falling off for three straight months at Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Colonel calls up the Pope and asks for a favor.
The Pope says, "What can I do?"
The Colonel says, "I need you to change the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. If you do it, I'll donate $10 Million Dollars to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "I am very sorry. That is the Lord's prayer and I can not change the words." So the Colonel hangs up.
After another month of dismal sales, the Colonel panics, and calls again. "Listen your Excellency. I really need your help. I'll donate $50 million dollars if you change the words of the daily prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken.'"
And the Pope responds, "It is very tempting, Colonel Sanders. The church could do a lot of good with that much money. It would help us to support many charities. But, again, I must decline. It is the Lord's prayer, and I can't change the words." So the Colonel gives up again.
After two more months of terrible sales, the Colonel gets desperate. "This is my final offer, your Excellency. If you change the words of the daily prayer from, 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken' I will donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The Pope replies, "Let me get back to you."
So the next day, the Pope calls together all of his bishops and he says, "I have some good news and I have some bad news. The good news is that KFC is going to donate $100 million to the Vatican."
The bishops rejoice at the news.
Then one asks about the bad news.
The Pope replies, "The bad news is that we lost the Wonder Bread account."
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Hotties.
[NSFW] - Nice ass.
[ SFW ] - $9 Tees!
[NSFW] - Find a slut.
[NSFW] - Sexy ASIAN.
[ SFW ] - Beach babes.
[ SFW ] - Living statues.
[NSFW] - Yay for fake tits.
[ SFW ] - All food is poison.
[NSFW] - Great body on her.
[ SFW ] - Holy photo Batman!
[NSFW] - I love big floppy tits.
[NSFW] - Check out these girls.
[ SFW ] - LOOK AT THAT DUCK!
[ SFW ] - I'd still do Ms. Lohan.
[NSFW] - The hottest MILF alive.
[NSFW] - ASIANS and fish. Uh oh.
[NSFW] - Is this a Swine Flu fetish?
[ SFW ] - The meat puppet.. WTF haha
[ SFW ] - Like this would ever happen..
[ SFW ] - Haha this dude is dumb as fuck.
[ SFW ] - Oh neat look cool while smoking.
[ SFW ] - 64 things every geek should know.
[ SFW ] - Artist creates invisible car. Bad ass.
[ SFW ] - The Hunt for Gollum. (Fan made film)
[NSFW] - I like it when the hot ones are whores.
[ SFW ] - South Park - Gay Fish (ft. Kanye West)
[ SFW ] - This almost made me kill myself. Almost.
[ SFW ] - Police beating the shit out of a dude. Nice!
[ SFW ] - The female response to "Jizzed in my pants"
[ SFW ] - I want to bang the shit out of this metal chick.
[ SFW ] - Oh wow she actually put her number. Go for it.
[ SFW ] - This kid here is a salesman and knows about 15 different languages.
posted on 05/01/09 by Opie
It was once said that before a black man became president, pigs would fly. Now here, 100 days into Obama's term, swine flu!
Tiger makes the shot! (Not what you think and NSFW)
Phone Sex in an elevator.
I like how he throws his knife.
Two midgets get some hookers and get hotel rooms. One midget was soft all night and he could hear his friend through the paper thin walls going, "1,2,3 Hgh... 1,2,3 HGH" over and over.
In the morning the first midget says to the second midget, "I couldn't get hard cause all I could hear was you fucking counting."
The second midget says, "Well, at least you could get on the fucking bed."
DAMN NIGGA! (or ESSAY!)
The Weather Stone.
Jessica Biel topless in Power Blue.
Ass eater wanted.
What the gay?
I'd throw pennies at her.
- FFL -
[ SFW ] - Ninjer Chop!
[NSFW] - Sexy bitches.
[NSFW] - Teen sex tape.
[ SFW ] - That's just lazy.
[ SFW ] - Just good music.
[NSFW] - Watch a sex show.
[NSFW] - Naked Prom Queen!
[ SFW ] - Hey look! A squirrel.
[ SFW ] - Skateboarding Chimp.
[NSFW] - ASIAN being a Cowgirl.
[NSFW] - Man my nuts hurt now.
[ SFW ] - Can the vagina close up?
[NSFW] - What is this?, A sex party?
[ SFW ] - Oh it's the Bride of Chucky.
[NSFW] - Damn she has awesome tits.
[NSFW] - These girls just want to fuck.
[ SFW ] - 50 movies all guys should see.
[ SFW ] - One Eyed Monster trailer. haha
[NSFW] - Keeley Hazell has the best tits.
[ SFW ] - People trying to dress like Wolverine.
[ SFW ] - Stripper pole Championship highlights.
[ SFW ] - Twilight with Cheeseburgers (Spoof)
[ SFW ] - American History's Craziest Assassins.
[NSFW] - Find yourself a cute sex buddy tonight.
[ SFW ] - This will make you scratch your head.
[ SFW ] - Black guy singing a nigger hating song.
[ SFW ] - Anyone ever tried "Blow" energy drink?
[ SFW ] - Why Having Wolverine's Claws Would Suck.
[ SFW ] - I want to film my white and nigger kid dancing.
[ SFW ] - I was waiting for the cops to fuck some shit up.
[ SFW ] - Wow, A homemade music video that is actually awesome.