» You're dreaming.
03/15/05 by Opie
Hang Gliding fall. He sure does stay calm.
Call me crazy, but I think a retard is driving. (You'll see)
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart
for the first-grade. My sister is in the third -grade and I'm smarter than she
is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal
what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to
answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to
take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should
The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."
Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal
and Harry both agree.
Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
"Harry, after a moment "Legs."
Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Ms Brooks: What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious
and contains thin whitish liquid?
Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry
was taking charge.
Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do
on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: Shake hands
Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get
wet before you do.
Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best
man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Harry: Wedding Ring
Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me,
you feel good.
Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the
fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."
Just a few images
Did Alanis Morissette pop into anyones head? God, I suck.
I'm surprised more of these haven't came up.
- FFL -
- Booby Flash
- The breast
moto crash save!
to dump your girlfriend.
Alba *almost* naked.
I don't want two wangs!"
new videos from Heavy.
Cent: Bulletproof Game Trailer.
- These guys do some
give her a hand.. and a foot.
- Nice shoot
'em, 'til they die game.
wonder what race the kids where.
check out that ass and twat.
me of that Nike basketball ad.
- Malt liquor taste
like a bucket of assholes.
new fun puzzle game to keep you busy.
- Only thing
you rule at is eating the buffet.
- As the domain reads..
Crazy ass sex toys.
many would love to cuddle up to this?
of dog bites! (Some shouldn't be here)
taste-enhancement dietary supplement.
the haunted painted that was on eBay?
flakes! HAHAHA GET IT?!!!?... Nasty bitch.
Hurdles: Should be in the Special Olympics.
Dogg even has funny international commercials.
remember that drunk Britney video? (BIG WOW!)
would think Earthlink would have something better to do.
- There's a Michael
Jackson suicide watch site on the INTERNET.
- That Mosh girl again.
(All the pictures, since that site was shut down.)
Note: I've gotten a few e-mails saying that a link contained a virus. Well when
I post them, I don't get anything. (I don't use any blockers)
It's possible it came from a pop-up on the link. If something had a virus I wouldn't
have posted it.
Anyway, contact the site owner and let them know.
» Ever looked at a website.. ON
posted on 03/11/05 by Opie
Very funny bit from Bob and Tom. This guy rules.
Best scene from Half Baked.
Another great Conan clip!
It's not shit.
Who needs an ATV when you're a redneck?
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house
to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to
the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen this guy's an escaped
convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jailand hasn't
seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist,
don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates
you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be
strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my
ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too."
OK images, listen.
Be sure to eat your fruity pebbles.
That ice is crazy.
Everyone with a Jenga set will go try it.
What's around the corner?
- FFL -
- Sexy iBabes.
- Insane Videos.
- SEXY FREEBIES!
kill that doctor.
- Crazy office
- Also great for slugs.
with two faces.
- Good company name.
New Red vs. Blue!
eat steak. Now.
- Young hotties in lingerie.
Schiffer in prison.
chick with nice tittas.
- Best ass on the
- Have fun with these mazes.
Diesel can break dance.
horse that acts like a dog.
missile game is pretty fun.
P Diddy Pepsi commercial.
of girls should choose anal.
a brain exercise for ya.
- The old school cup
and ball game.
mere and give fifty a kiss.
school game with a great twist.
- Pedophiles on the
INTERNET? No way.
STILL don't get this type of "pleasure".
- Find people you went
to school with, fool.
another one of those puzzle games.
Harding looks like a swamp donkey.
Lucas has apparently lost his chin.
I'm not having sex tonight either."
ASIANS must be completely retarded.
starts out unfunny, but then gets really funny.
set himself on fire" As if he didn't do enough..
- The game
(G, You knit?) wants fifty to suck his dick.
kick the SHIT out of this guy. (Close to the end)
take some brownies with man juice, hold the weed.
lo! Girl, don't you know what that fur came from? [/Black lady voice]
- I bet
the murder victim is "ROLLING OVER" in his grave. OK, that was a bad joke.
Exs and girlfriend pictures next week. (Promise) Also I've got 2002 and 2003 "Best
of" done. I just have to add the some new captions and junk on the 2003 ones.
2004 shouldn't be to much behind.
posted on 03/09/05
W.O.W time boys and girls.
Stupid cop. Very stupid.
Why would you do that? Use one of those big ones.
An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have
loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son
is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem:
"Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am
sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me.
I love you,
The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail from his son:
Please don't touch the garden. It's there that I have hidden 'the THING'.
I love you, too,
At 4pm the US Army, The Marines, the FBI, the CIA and the Rangers visit the house
of the old man, take the whole garden apart, search every inch, but can't find
anything. Disappointed they leave the house.
A day later, the old man receives another e-mail from his son.
I hope the garden is dug up by now and you can plant your potatoes.
That's all I could do for you from here.
I love you,
NBA Picture fun!
Albino deer is sweet looking.
That'll learn em'.
Kitty Porn is bad.
What's he scared of?
If you remember subseven, raise your hand.
- FFL -
- Nigga Plz.
- Girls Blog.
- Need hosting?
- Realllly Funny
- Banana Man?
- Who would hit
911 is funny.
girls in this video.
- This rodeo
game is hard.
- Test your reaction
what you're aiming at.
scripts are the best.
slowly taking over!
stripping for you guys!
cops tasered on video.
is just annoying. Bang bang.
- Any gamer should
like this game.
- OH MY
GOD! A BUTT CRACK. score.
youth gone wild! (Good editing)
my god. Why? This time it's a girl.
eleven shouldn't have commercials.
masturbate while driving? ME TOO!
people would have used a proxy.
like an ASIAN Old Navy commercial.
Um... Yeah. BEST MUSIC VIDEO EVER!
help it, had to post it again. Haha
out of HEE HAW with a lopsided tittie.
- Yet another
[driving] game to keep you busy.
like I'll be taking a trip to Wisconsin. Meow.
collection of Hip Hop videos from Heavy!
the winner expect to walk out? My god people.
FORBID if this guy was black. You know I'm right.
- First three pages
of Stallone's official screenplay to ROCKY 6!
from the featured galley video. (Scroll down to download)
kidnap Russell Crowe when there's Brad Pitt? That came out wrong.
of "air" in the 2nd and 3rd video. She's hot too. (Don't click the other links)
» Judo CHOP.
posted on 03/08/05
Fixed a few bad links in the hotties
and added the pranks
back to the downloads. Will try and get some good programs up as soon as I finish
doing the "Best of" section in the features. It's time consuming.
I want this on DVD, ASAP.
Title = "Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky" Thanks guys.
I have a witty comment, but I'll pass. Just kidding... SHAKE RATTLE AND..
ROCKY ROCKY ROCKY
Ma damn foots caught in the door
OH MY GOD THAT WAS FUNNY!
On the 8th day, God made images.
Would be a great sequel.
Hey guys, That's me looking for treasure.
and DAMN NIGGA!
Hungry? Why wait, grab a... NEVERMIND..
Last words: GODZILLA!!!!!!!
Edit: Was informed of the edit at the bottom left and it's fake.
I think he missed.
That is correct.
I'd hit it with a weed-eater.
Two guys are sitting next to each other on an airplane. As the plane gets in the
air, one turns to the other and says, "You know, the most embarrassing thing happened
to me this morning. I went to get my ticket from the woman at the counter, who
just happened to be the most gorgeous woman I've ever lain my eyes upon, and instead
of asking for 'Two tickets to Pittsburgh', I said, 'Two pickets to Tittsburg'."
They shared a chuckle over this and the other man responded, "That's the damnedest
thing. Something like that happened with my wife and me at breakfast this morning.
I meant to ask her to 'Please pass the Post Porridge,' but it came out, 'YOU FUCKING
BITCH, YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE.'"
- FFL -
- She lost
- Typical dumbass.
- Hot naughty teens.
- SEXY FREE STUFF!
weiner is fake!
- Very odd flash movie.
blows his nads off.
- Bullet bras hurt like hell.
- Jesus Christ,
shit, what a dumbass!
- Nudity from camera phones.
- 3 3ast
3 3urious! Funny stuff.
bet PETA loves this machine.
go to this Superbowl Party.
of that awesome parrot!
- If you're color
blind, you'll like this.
wiggers are even worse.
just have to watch this one.
shit, this mole is crazy looking.
- Sexy Anna Kournikova
is going on in this picture? (DN!)
a bit dumber for even posting this.
- Fox news with
Jessica's "lickable" crap.
gum commercial is great. <3 PETA
Jobs are crazy in that sexy way.
- Caller ID spoof. Dunno
if it works or not.
fun with some ugly goth bitch.
- I want
one of these shredders for little kitties.
- How can you bully someone on the
Durst suing websites for $80 million? Idiot.
was going to buy, until I read the reviews. Shit.
I remember seeing this when I was younger.
- Be cool and
meet some INTERNET girls in your area.
- They could
have picked a better scene from this movie. (N.D)
Check out Head from Korn. (This time with pictures)
could be the oldest woman in the world? Cart-wheels for her!
kids are stupid to get addicted to cough meds. Just slit your wrist.
» The INTERNET is not funny.
posted on 03/04/05 by Opie
The last of the Conan/Walker clips! Hope you guys enjoyed them.
I laughed my ass off on this scene.
And I thought I was messed up...
Something is going to happen!
Q and A
Q: What do you get when you cross JFK, Ernest Hemingway, Abraham Lincoln, and
A: A complete skull.
Q: What sign does an epileptic Black person have around his neck?
A: I'm not break dancing.
Q: Why Did The Chicken cross the road?
A: Because a black guy was chasing it.
Q: What did usher say to the Jews?
A: Let it burn.
Q: What is Superman's greatest weakness?
A: A bucking horse.
Q: What is loud and obnoxious?
A: A woman.
Q: how do you feed a hungry Ethiopian?
A: Let them swallow.
Q:What's better than Honor ?
A: In her.
OK.. OK.. Images
Will these ever stop? No.
Who stole the cookie from far the...
Correct. Speaking of rect..
All those phone techs are morons anyway.
I should have added the sound huh?
Yeah sure buddy.
She never has problems finding TP for her bunghole.
I usually never post these dumb cartoons, but I liked this one.
- FFL -
- Silly Asians.
world is doomed.
gay for me to host.
= C-, Titties = A!
hockey goal ever.
- Steve-O attacked
Fighter 2? Hahaha
- Office Space
girls are Mardi Gras.
membership to porn.
- What is Victorias
funny eBay auction.
- I like my bacon
Croft grew some tittas.
- Some odd pictures
your Mom calling sweetie.
- HA HA Take that
another speaking thingy.
slip on ESPN! Oh wait..
fighting game is actually fun.
combat vacation. I'm ready.
- Meet some
nice whores in your area.
and Hobbes comics from 86-95
just heard Head from Korn left too.
- Stop motion
music video. Good stuff.
cut off his finger for just $790k.
- Check out that bottom right picture.
video of a stupid "hacker" girl.
Can Sue Over Surprise Pregnancy?
yeah, that would be just plain stupid.
- Get drunk
with breaking the seal? Get out.
any of you girls pee standing up? haha
calls are immature, yet very funny.
from Lindsay Lohan to Paris Hilton.
- Another example
on why Rathergood rules.
you guys remember that QVC ladder clip?
- I can't stand
people like this. (Re-post, but worth it)
Klum video. Nothing else to say if you've seen her.
DAMN IT STAND UP DURING THE NATION ANTHEM! (With video!)
» NO SUBJECT.
posted on 03/02/05
W.O.W clip for this week is Sydney Moon.
Fred Durst sex tape video, mirrored again. This
could lead to the Hilton hacker?
Conan Walker clips! Here's part 2 of 3.
That's just nasty.
In case you missed the crash that's been all over the news.
20 Things to Do When You Are Bored in Class
OK, images too
- Make a paper football and get someone to play with you. When they put their
hands up into a little goal, flick the football at the teacher and immediately
go back to doing your work.
- Out of nowhere, or when it is quiet, say loud enough for the class to hear
"When I say heeee-aay, you say hoooo, Heeee-aay" and see how many people say
- At another quiet time, shout out "Marco" and then in a squeaky voice shout
out "Polo seinior"
- Practice your ty-chi. Wave your arms all around like your really know what
you are doing.
- Meditate. Humm as loud as you can and when your teacher says something about
it, act all offended. "Do you have a problem with my religion, sir!?"
- If one of your friends is drinking something, in the middle of a drink start
chanting "chug! chug! chug!"
- When the class is very quiet, say in a casual voice "Knock knock"
- When the class is quiet, sigh and say "This class is really boring"
- Shoot rubber bands at someone, when they accuse you look confused and point
to the person to the left of you. After that, point to the person on the right
of you ect...
- If you are black start singing country music, if you are white start rapping.
- Make as many paperballs as you can and set them on your desk in a giant
pile. If anyone looks at you, look tough and nod at them.
- If you are a male, start singing Britney Spears's "Hit me baby one more
time" complete with raise the roof action.
- Take everything out of your backpack and stack it on your desk. Take out
a sheet of paper and take inventory of your stuff.
- Take an empty gum wrapper and put it in your palm, then signal someone by
going "pssssst. Hey!" Make them lean all close to you and get them thinking
you have something interesting to say. Look around and then give them the
- See how many tiny paper balls you can set on the person in front of you
without them knowing it.
- Tie someones shoe's together and kick them.
- Use a kick me sign. As a challenge, see how many people you can put a kick
me sign on without them knowing it.
- Start singing "Can you feel the love tonight" from the Lion King.
- Fall asleep. When you wake up say shit like "I had a dream and you were
in it. And you! You too!...
- Blurt out chinese waiter talk. "SHICKEN FRIE RIE, SEVEN DOLLA"
Note the sign on the left.
Boobs on aisle 20.
That house/store is crazy.
There's a mystery behind the black box.
That shouldn't even be called a penis.
Probably lives in Florida or something.
- FFL -
- Big ASIAN tittas!
- SEXY FREEBIES!
- Who likes babes?
10 years ago.
Chappelle's VD song!
- How to
destroy the earth.
100 gadgets of all time.
- Girls this
fat don't deserve sex.
gameshow. Just watch haha.
amazed at people on the net.
can pick up chicks in this ride.
- This is a very
good sketch drawing.
to see some pictures of STDs?
can tell if a fetus is gay or not?
- How can you miss
such a huge typo?
- Paris and Kimberly
try riding some bikes.
chasers are fucking retarded.
- The Beast Movie. Release
probably shouldn't have laughed at this.
Winchester Police are fucking idiots.
that awesome cheerleading/bball clip.
- Any of
you guys ever heard of Roy D. Mercer?
Just one more of the skittles speaker. Haha
kicking themselves in the head is funny as hell.
- Need someone dead? HAHA,
read the testimonials. hahaha
- ASIAN rap battle
master. I like how they all start with "YO, YO, and yeah YO"
no longer in G-Unit? Raise your hand if you care. Now slap yourself for doing
This post is dedicated to Matt aka Nometry. [ Late moderator on the Forums ]
» Chalk is not good.
on 03/01/05 by Opie
*** Special Conan clips [MUST SEE] this week. ***
The Walker Texas Ranger clips on Conan are the best! Here's part 1 of 3.
This ISN'T the pee drinking chimp.
Best scene of this movie. 80's style baby!
Joke This joke has other forms, but this is better
Three guys rob a bank and need somewhere to hide out. They drive out to the middle
of nowhere and explain their situation to a farmer. They ask if they can hide
out there for awhile and the farmer reluctantly allows them to, on one condition;
none of the guys can have any sexual contact with the farmer's daughter. They
figure hey, that's pretty simple.
Later on that day, they finally meet the farmer's daughter. As it turns out, she's
the most beautiful girl any of the bank robbers have ever seen. Later that night
after the farmer's dozed off, they truck her ass. They gang bang her like there's
When the farmer wakes up and finds the men asleep with his daughter he's furious.
He orders each of the men to go to his garden and pick him one fruit or vegetable.
The first man brings back an orange. The farmer orders the man to drop his pants
and bend over. In seconds, the man's feces are pushed in by the orange. In excruciating
pain, he walks away.
The second man brings the farmer an apple. The farmer orders him to drop his pants
and bend over. He does so, and as the farmer begins to penetrate his rear with
the apple, the man bursts out in laughter. The farmer is confused. He questions
the man, asking if he likes it. He asks if he's some kind of faggot. The man replies
saying no, it's just that his friend is on his way from the garden... carrying
I'll takes Images for $400 Alex.
Fun Fact of the day.
A toilet for fat people.
All cars like this are pussies anyway.
Why, hello there Satan.
If that was a Harley I could use the "Pick which hog to ride" joke.
I hate blog sites.
Come onnnnnn tittie.
You're not suppose to print mice.
- FFL -
- Bling, Bling
- I love titties.
- Great hosting!
- Damn box
Dee is sexay.
this is nasty.
- Guns are
Reef 2005 sucka!
like game, sort of.
- Sexy girls getting wild.
porn for your soul.
Springer the Opera?
to stop jacking off.
criminals at it again.
Ewa at the strip club.
needs a great house?
commercials are great.
figure, he's from Arkansas.
Dad is a Fudge-Packer.
say it together: "Nice Ass"
blonde by her computer.
- Wonder how
old she is? Not bad.
- Retro phones. Pretty retarded.
of The Amityville Horror.
- This has to be the
worst music ever.
that ass bitch... what the?..
look, a listener for sale on eBay.
they can put a stop to road kill.
basketball game. (Play HORSE)
Potter, hottest girl on campus.
This is a failed suicide attempt?
- This game
made me just start laughing.
Backstreet boys are coming back.
- These guys are stupid, but
- No, titties are meant for men
- A illusion
for everyone on the INTERNET.
- Famous people with
Dyslexia. That's great.
to go watch Little House on the Prairie.
Trachtenberg isn't to bad on the eyes.
INTERNET people are really.. Really stupid.
fastest chevy truck. (10.91 sec @ 122 MPH)
- Pinch their inner
arm and they'll sound like the dough boy.
has a talking thingy. Type fuck and you get "beep".
sure this goddamn puzzle says something about wasting time.
- The official Saw 2 site! I really
hope they don't fuck this movie up.
Note: Tomorrows post will be later than usual, so this one can stay up top for
a bit longer. Also I'm adding the archives as you read this.