posted on 01/15/10 by Opie
10 years of pissing off everyone. (Remi Gaillard)
The Phantom Shot.
Reporter can't break ice.
Oh those ASIANS!
OMG, Bono stared in a porn!
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bill says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like the dickens! I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs $10. A lot cheaper than a doctor."
So, Bill deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and Epsom salts, found in aisle 2. Avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bill began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Bill hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and waits for the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm.. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Find sex.
[ SFW ] - Pool game.
[ SFW ] - Cleavage pics.
[NSFW] - Sexy ass blonde.
[ SFW ] - Usher and a Goat.
[ SFW ] - Mormon marriage.
[ SFW ] - Very cool animation.
[NSFW] - Extreme Porn Videos.
[ SFW ] - When birds hit planes.
[ SFW ] - Mysterious moving meat.
[NSFW] - Chat for free with whores.
[ SFW ] - 100% real, not the boobs.
[ SFW ] - $5 off use code ENTENSIT.
[ SFW ] - Video of the glasses tattoo guy.
[ SFW ] - Good dive over catcher to score.
[ SFW ] - Inmates tattoo whites of their eyes.
[ SFW ] - Haiti made a deal with the Devil.. haha
[ SFW ] - Top 10: Ways To Start Talking To Women.
[ SFW ] - Haiti 48 hours later. It also looks like District 9.
[ SFW ] - Kiefer Sutherland Loses Pats Bet, Wears Dress on Letterman.
» llama llama
posted on 01/13/10 by Opie
Why couldn't they show this when I was in High School?
A woman goes into labor and her husband excitedly rushes her to the hospital to give birth. They had been trying to have a child for years, but the woman kept on having miscarriages. They had feared they would never have a child and had almost given up.
The wife goes through labor for 12 long hours. Even though she shits all over the bed while pushing, her husband supports her and they get more and more excited about the child that will soon come into the world.
Finally as the woman gives a last push, the doctor pulls the baby out and announces "it's a boy!"
The man and woman hold each other and cry and laugh and weep together. Finally they have a beautiful child.
The doctor looks at the baby, looks at the nurse, and suddenly tosses the baby across the room to the nurse. The woman screams and the man stares wide eyed at the nurse who catches the baby and smiles. But she then reaches over to a table and picks up a knife and stabs the baby repeatedly in the chest and neck. She throws the baby back to the doctor who holds it by the umbilical cord and swings the child around and around, faster and faster.
The woman and man are horrified and scream "What are you doing to our baby!!! STOP! PLEASE!"
The doctor lets go of the umbilical cord and the baby flies across the room, hits the wall, slides down the wall leaving a trail of blood, and lands in a garbage can full of medical waste.
The doctor and nurse turn to the traumatized couple with smirks on their faces and then burst out laughing. "Can't you people take a fucking joke? It was stillborn!"
It's the Up kid!
"Cut into pentagram"
Is that a dude?
Oh so this is how you hide your penis.
- FFL -
[ SFW ] - Holy traffic!
[NSFW] - Big ass titties.
[NSFW] - Facebook sluts.
[NSFW] - Very hot cam girls.
[NSFW] - Her body is perfect.
[ SFW ] - Be A Teenage Ninja!
[ SFW ] - Michelle Marsh is sexy.
[ SFW ] - The Annoying Orange.
[ SFW ] - Deep ocean creatures.
[ SFW ] - Beach Volleyball babes.
[ SFW ] - How to clean your balls.
[ SFW ] - This makes me miss college.
[ SFW ] - Instant Karma In Burger King.
[ SFW ] - Here's that faggot singing again.
[ SFW ] - He's looking for a girlfriend. Haha
[NSFW] - Nothing like some warm titty milk.
[ SFW ] - Pics of guy getting face tattooed.
[ SFW ] - A good sex robot has finally arrived.
[ SFW ] - Hangover Baby $5 OFF CODE "ENTENSIT".
[ SFW ] - Amateur MMA Fighter gets two times the pain.
[NSFW] - This will ruin pussy for you, for the rest of your life.
[ SFW ] - So Sony is going to start the Spiderman movies over now?
[ SFW ] - iMac 27 Inch Computer - Save over 90% - Use Coupon code ENTENSITY.
posted on 01/11/10 by Opie
Remember "Ice Box" from Little Giants?
Well she grew up hot and is naked here.
Death Metal Rooster. (This is ridiculous haha)
And Death Metal BABY!
Reporting on bad weather and then...
Man deadlifts 329 lbs and then passes out.
Funny Joe's Crab Shack commercial.
Real life Optimus Prime.
Polar Bear giving himself pleasure.
Banging on the side of the road.
Goddamn this bitch is hot.
How Pornstars Get Pinkeye
A couple is newly married and they love each other very much. Unfortunately, they get in a terrible car accident and although the man emerges from the wreckage unhurt, his wife is seriously injured and falls into a coma.
Devastated, the man waits by his wife's bedside 24 hours a day cleaning her and changing her diapers. Months pass and the woman's condition does not change. The man fears the worst.
One day after months of waiting, the man gets bored and feels up his wife's breast as it had been ages since he'd had any sexual contact. The wife suddenly arches her back and gives out a moan.
The man is shocked and excited, so he rushes out the door and summons the doctor.
The man explains what happened to the doctor and the doctor responds: "sir, that's absolutely amazing. Perhaps it is sexual stimulation that will bring your wife out of the coma. Sir, I would like you to continue with this experiment. Please, have oral sex with your wife and see if she responds. I'll wait outside the room until you're done"
The doctor waits outside the room and gives the man some privacy. They wait for several minutes. Suddenly the man rushes from the room crying and is inconsolable. The doctor grabs the man and asks: "sir, please, what happened?"
The man looks at the doctor: "doctor, my wife is dead. I had oral sex with her as you asked...and now she's gone."
The doctor asks "but sir, how is that possible?"
The man replies "she choked."
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Dirty videos.
[ SFW ] - Tits are great.
[ SFW ] - The A-Team trailer.
[ SFW ] - Wrong turn 3.. haha
[ SFW ] - Eliza Dushku pictures.
[NSFW] - The "Facebook" of sex.
[ SFW ] - Christmas Tree Rocket!
[NSFW] - Hot and nasty cam whores.
[ SFW ] - Clash of the Titans Trailer.
[NSFW] - Clown porn is a little weird.
[NSFW] - Not so bad looking Prostitute.
[ SFW ] - Define white trash. (This guy)
[NSFW] - That sure is a pretty butterfly.
[ SFW ] - Autotune The Press Conference.
[ SFW ] - 5 Seasons Of LOST in 8 minutes.
[ SFW ] - Excellent touchdown celebration.
[ SFW ] - This fat dude is pretty damn funny.
[ SFW ] - Samsung Transparent Laptop. Neato.
[ SFW ] - Damn, I need to start watching ECW.
[ SFW ] - I need to meet girls that are like this.
[ SFW ] - Unlocked Windows 7 into "GodMode".
[ SFW ] - Top 10 Places YOU Can?t Go In The World.
[ SFW ] - Get your taxes done at MO MONEY TAXES!!!
[ SFW ] - This site gives away free software everyday.
[ SFW ] - Firefighters try to stop suicide jumper with hose.
[ SFW ] - Halloween Light Show 2009, Little late but still cool.
[ SFW ] - He may be the worst "rapper" alive. (Different version)
[ SFW ] - Awesome fan-made Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Trailer!!!
» Asshole soup
posted on 01/08/10 by Opie
Military Fail on Wheel of Fortune (They are just plain dumb)
Walrus sucks his own donkey dick.
Another funny COD6 kill.
Very sexy and talented.. I forgot what she did..
Best Fails of 2009
Avatar - The Making of the Bootleg
Girls flashing on the highway.
Jet boat racing.
Oh those Emo kids.
I love nuns.
ATTENTION WAL-MART SCAM
I am posting this to warn you of something that happened to me, as i have become a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.
Here's how the scam works:
Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the trunk.
They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It's impossible not to look.
When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No" and instead ask for a ride to another Wal-Mart. You agree and they get in the back seat.
On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen Tuesday, Wednesday, twice on Thursday, again on Saturday, and once again on Sunday.
- FFL -
[ SFW ] - Beach MILF.
[ SFW ] - Come onnn tittie!
[ SFW ] - Let's have an orgy.
[NSFW] - Squirt Porn Blooper.
[ SFW ] - Defend your castle!
[NSFW] - Nice natural boobies.
[ SFW ] - One year in 90 seconds.
[ SFW ] - Animals with two heads.
[NSFW] - Social Network for SEX!
[ SFW ] - Top 10 movie shootouts.
[NSFW] - 80 yard long soccer goal.
[NSFW] - Chat with girls via webcam.
[NSFW] - She likes sex while studying.
[ SFW ] - "Man's penis removed from pipe"
[ SFW ] - ASIAN music videos are too funny.
[NSFW] - Slutty Teen Really Enjoys Exploring.
[ SFW ] - Super hot girl doing jumping jacks.
[ SFW ] - Crying in public prank. Good stuff.
[ SFW ] - Boys shouldn't dance to Britney Spears.
[ SFW ] - Mariah Carey Drunk Acceptance Speech
[NSFW] - All Warcraft fans will love WHORECRAFT!
[ SFW ] - Black guy excited for getting PS3 for Christmas.
[ SFW ] - Getting revenge on Ex that sent him a strip video.
[ SFW ] - Leno is getting his time slot back and Conan got fucked.
[ SFW ] - Artie Lange stabbed himself 9 nines.. Will he OD already?
[ SFW ] - Nic Cage as EVERYONE! (Click "Older Post" for more, dumbass)
» Just went from Six to Midnight
posted on 01/06/10 by Opie
She only has one leg.
The Soccer Mom.. haha
This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.
The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.
Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.
You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of Biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless.
You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.
Suddenly you see a man and a woman in the water. They are fighting for their lives, trying not to be taken down with the debris. You move closer. Somehow they look familiar ? you suddenly realize who they are.
It's Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi!! At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take them under forever.
You have two options:
You can save their lives or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the deaths of two of the world's most powerful people
NOW, Here's the question; and please give an honest answer ...
Would you select high contrast color film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
You know this shit is funny.
Polar bear attack pictures. *GRAPHIC*
Proof that Avatar is actually Pocahontas.
Great way to clean up a stain.
Her parents must hate her.
I hope he got his money back.
GOD DAMN IT!
I'll take an order of dick.
Wrestling fan crying.
I bet these cookies are good.
- FFL -
[NSFW] - Nude teens.
[NSFW] - Holy nice ass.
[NSFW] - Hot cam sluts.
[ SFW ] - I love big titties.
[ SFW ] - Car goes airborne.
[NSFW] - She takes it all off.
[ SFW ] - Get a PS3 for cheap.
[ SFW ] - World's Fastest Drinker.
[NSFW] - Naughty Facebook girls.
[ SFW ] - Mom raving at field day.
[ SFW ] - The best Google costume.
[ SFW ] - The 6 Creepiest Places on Earth.
[ SFW ] - How to wrap a cat for Christmas.
[ SFW ] - Just girls that need to be naked.
[ SFW ] - Avatar make up tutorial (For MEN)
[ SFW ] - Redi Whip is the best invention ever.
[ SFW ] - Holy shit "Kick-Ass" looks pretty good.
[ SFW ] - I guess they allow crazy ladies on airplanes.
[ SFW ] - VH1 reality show bus crashes - Major slut spill!
» Back in action
posted on 01/04/10 by Opie
UFC 108 Paul Daley vs. Dustin Hazelett (Dude is a BMF)
An online gamer playing Monopoly.
Why would they jump out the car?
World's Most Talented Man
One handed catch for the TD!
Breaking a glass with his voice.
He jumps over three rows of cheerleaders.
That bull got his ass.
Woman calls 911 on herself.
Bad car wreck.
Hot amateur porn.
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, ?Hey, Dave! How ya doin???
His wife is puzzled and asks if he?s been to this club before.
?Oh, no,? says Dave. ?He?s on my bowling team.?
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he?d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, ?How did she know that you drink Budweiser??
?She?s in the Ladies? Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them.?
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says ?Hi Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy??
Dave?s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, ?Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.?
- FFL -
[ SFW ] - Cheap T-shirts.
[NSFW] - Sexy cam girls.
[ SFW ] - Girls being sluts.
[NSFW] - Nude teen pics.
[NSFW] - Facebook hotties.
[NSFW] - Hot teen with pig tails.
[ SFW ] - Her body is smoking hot.
[ SFW ] - This bitch is fat and nasty.
[ SFW ] - Icy Road Car Pinball.. haha
[ SFW ] - Video mix of booty shaking.
[NSFW] - Haha this is borderline rape.
[NSFW] - Sexy blonde gives a nice BJ.
[ SFW ] - Get a free amazon gift card.
[ SFW ] - Is this kid fucking retarded?
[NSFW] - DVD quality porn to download.
[ SFW ] - The 21st Century In 7 Minutes.
[ SFW ] - Took that pic at the right time.
[ SFW ] - Hottie trying to play the guitar.
[ SFW ] - Cool structure destruction game.
[ SFW ] - Top 10: Tarantino Death Scenes.
[ SFW ] - If Star Wars was an 80's TV show.
[ SFW ] - Kathy Griffin drops F-bomb on CNN.
[ SFW ] - Must be a professional photographer.
[ SFW ] - Woman plays a kazoo via her vagina.
[ SFW ] - This game is kind of hard but very fun.
[ SFW ] - Extreme Arm Wrestling?s Greatest Hits.
[ SFW ] - Cop trying to take down a crack head.
[ SFW ] - Travis Pastrana Lands World Record Rally Car Jump.
[ SFW ] - Avatar Makeup Tutorial. It's funny because she's a whale.
[ SFW ] - Entensity Special - Use this link to get 90% off all electronics.